The Verbal Threat. “Say Something before Doing Something.”
The Verbal Threat. “Say Something before Doing Something.”
Another point in my “life is like an interview or an ambush” advice speeches. When I teach (and write) I constantly suggest practitioners-attendees-readers prepare speeches for the before-during-and-after of a fight in your probable civilian-enforcement-military worlds. Practice them like actors practice their parts before a mirror. Since my Collision 1 of the Collision 6 is a “collision of the minds,” – no physical contact yet – we are in that “interview” stage here. Not an ambush.
The verbal deescalation and possible escape-avoidance are mandatory subjects to explore. (But you can talk all through the Collison 6 with words of “give up-surrender.”) This subject alone could be a whole book, but this isn’t that book. I’d like to zero in on the verbal threat part of the outline. Verbal deescalation is usually packaged with non-threatening, escalating “calm down” verbiage. Yes. Yes. But at the end of verbal outline is also the “escalating threat.” A warning of things to come.
Most of my adult life has been in police work, when even in the golden-olden days of almost “anything goes” responses to threats, fights and resisting arrests, we were still taught to try and “say something” before “doing something.” This is especially good when witnesses are around and in today’s world where everything is filmed. Having some prepared pre-fight lingo in your mind is a good idea.
When de-escalation fails, or you feel it will? Threaten. Or start with a threat. The old expression of “Wolf Tickets” comes to my mind. Tickets-invites to fight and “see what happens if.” FAFOU. “But don’t sell wolf tickets you can’t cash,” which the second line-warning of the expression.
What you say, must have command presence – your overall presentation. Face. Stance. Voice. Etc. Other things to practice in the mirror. Don’t be a blank slate? Crisis rehearse. The verbal threat, warning, or command serves several critical purposes. Without a long dissertation on the tricky ups and downs of verbal deescalation, let’s zero-in on the threat part.
• First, it provides one last opportunity for the aggressor to stop what he is doing. Many confrontations are not driven by a determined criminal intent from the very beginning. They are often fueled by anger, emotion, alcohol, drugs, ego, misunderstanding, or poor decision-making. A clear warning can sometimes interrupt that process and give the aggressor a chance to reconsider.
• Second, the verbal warning helps clarify the situation for everyone involved. Bystanders may not know who the aggressor is. Witnesses may have only seen a portion of the confrontation. A loud, clear command such as, “Stay back!” “Don’t come any closer!” or “Leave me alone!” immediately establishes your role as the defender and identifies the other person as the aggressor. These statements can later become important witness testimony. (Frightened surrender words, tones and expressions usually only enhance the attacker’s mentality. In your prepared speeches which out for timid, scared, surrendering-sounding verbiage, unless it’s for a luring, sucker-punch surprise?)
• Third, verbal warnings can create valuable mental preparation for the defender. Speaking the words out loud helps solidify your own decision-making process. It forces you to recognize the seriousness of the situation and helps transition your mind from uncertainty into purposeful action. Many people freeze because they have not yet made a conscious decision to act. The verbal command can become that decision point.
• Complex speeches are usually useless. Fancy legal language is usually useless. In moments of stress, simple words delivered loudly and confidently are far more effective.
Society, juries, judges, and investigators generally prefer to see that reasonable efforts were made to avoid violence before violence occurred. This does not mean endless negotiation. It does not mean pleading with an attacker who is already launching an assault. It simply means that when time and circumstances permit, a reasonable warning demonstrates restraint, judgment, and a desire to avoid physical conflict.
Interview or ambush. Of course, there are situations where no warning is possible. Ambushes occur so rapidly. But whenever, the verbal threat warning remains a wise tool. It may stop the attack. It may attract help. It may create witnesses. It may establish your legal position. It may help you commit mentally to action.
Write your speeches. Be like Clint, John Wayne, Bogart, Bronson and the Atomic Blonde. Crisis rehearse them in your dressing rooms before you…act out the “part.”